Here’s What Happened During My Last Promotion

From today, Sat May 31st, until Tuesday June 3rd, The Pursuit of Cool will be available on Kindle for .99 cents! Normally, the novel sells for $4.99, so this special sales price is an 80% discount.

It will be offered at this sales price for just four days. So buy now. If you have already read the book, then please tell your friends and family about the promotion. And thanks!

Last November I gave the Kindle Free Book promotion a whirl and I reached No. 1 of the Top 100 free books in Literary Fiction.

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Please help me make this .99 cent promotion a similar success!

Spread The Word.

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Jim Morrison’s Great Leap of Faith

IMG_1500When you measure it off, it’s an impressive leap that possesses a healthy danger. Water’s edge of the pool is nine feet away from the two story bungalow. The rail of the top floor balcony, where Jim Morrison planted a (likely) bare foot during his running takeoff, is twelve feet high over the pool patio. The math is daunting. Coming up short of the water meant broken bones. Leaping long enough but too far left meant wreckage on the concrete north edge of the pool.

 

In 1968, Jim Morrison, lead singer of The Doors, stayed in room 29 of the Movie Colony Hotel, in Palm Springs, California. From the open air balcony of the bungalow, he took his famous leap and, by all accounts, landed successfully in the pool.

 

The leap wasn’t a spur of the moment decision for Morrison, it was part of his life plan. IMG_1501Morrison was an erudite and well-read guy. A class discussion enthusiast, he delighted in challenging teachers and professors based on his independent reading. At Florida State he played a game where he challenged people to pick up any of the hundreds of paperback books in his room and read one sentence. He would identify the exact book. Morrison was a serious poet and a Dionysian who believed that the key to creativity was inebriation to overwhelm the conscious mind. “I am not mad. I am interested in freedom,” he once said in an interview.

 

I went to the Movie Colony Hotel to check out the mid-century architecture and to investigate this leap. The pool area is charming, intimate and relaxing in a Dean Martin, dry martini way. Don Draper and Pete Campbell, in plaid swim trunks, might hang there. Drunken, whooping Jim Morrison flying through the air to do a cannonball seems out of place. The leap is nothing I would ever attempt, not even in my most daring or reckless moment. It’s just too physically risky. It’s scary.

 

This is the problem with taking leaps of faith. The results (or what we fear they might be) prevent us from taking action, and this fear keeps us from exploring our freedom. With physical risk it’s probably for the best, but in our larger lives it’s bad.

 

Jim#1Jim Morrison was an extraordinary human being. To him the real hazard of life was not taking enough risk and thereby surrendering his freedom. He elected to leap, again and again, sometimes failing, but overall with spectacular results. Even with his failures – he would likely argue — he was fully alive.

 

He achieved amazing things. After graduating from UCLA Film School he spent the summer of 1965 sleeping on the roof of a Venice Beach apartment building. He took lots of LSD and had a vision of a wildly successful rock band named The Doors. He wrote the song lyrics for their first two albums, all before he ran into Ray Manzarek on the beach. The Doors were the most enigmatic and original band of the 1960s. Morrison was the dark Shamanic figure of the era, causing several riots. He also published two books of Jim#2poetry and made two films.

 

Unfortunately, he became a hardcore alcoholic. The bottle became controlling. His drunken daredevil tendencies may have contributed to his death. In 1971 he fell from the roof of a Chateau Marmont bungalow when a rain gutter failed, and also from a London roof. He was coughing up blood days before his Paris death. One theory is that these falls caused a blood clot or a lung injury which contributed to his death.

 

It is rare a person comes along who so readily and consistently takes the leap, and embraces all their physical and spiritual freedom. We should look within ourselves to take leaps more often.

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Letters From the J. Crew Dude, Part 3 — The Conclusion

To those readers who have not read Part 1 and Part 2 of Letters From the J. Crew Dude, I strongly urge you to do so before you read Part 3. You will understand the overall flow and have a greater sense of the psychology of the Dude and why it ends the way it does.

If you cannot hold back and want to dive headlong into Part 3, then here is a brief recap of the real life origins of Letters. When my wife and I first started dating, she met this guy in a bar. They chatted in an innocuous way and he claimed to be a model. She didn’t believe him, and told him so, then later saw him in one of my J. Crew catalogs. I was inspired to create a story line that this guy was infatuated with my wife, and insanely jealous of me. I wrote a series of imaginary letters to my wife (with cutouts of the actual J. Crew Dude). The Letters here are based on those actual letters. A fuller explanation is found at the beginning of Part 1.

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Dear Lady of My Dreams,

This is the last letter you will Ever receive from me. You will have to savor it, and it alone. There, the truth sits before us, like a chained barge in the river Thames.

It has been awhile since our, or rather, my last communication. No doubt you noticed I was not in the last several editions of the J. Crew catalog. And naturally you wondered about me. Many do, I often wonder about myself.

img291Anyhow, I am with a new brand: I’m Mr. London Fog now! It’s foggy, it’s so Sherlock Holmes…the pints of ale, the soccer violence – it’s invigorating! No more dopey clambakes in Bangor, no more Telluride fake snowball fights in damaging UV ray sunshine…I’m all international sophistication and polish now, all about those black cabs driven by toothless dudes with cockney accents. London is a city of dignity, and unlike Miami, nobody wears thongs at dinner, mainly because it’s too cold, but even if it was warmer nobody would because all Londonites have attended posh schools where manners were taught and lesson one was: Don’t sit your bum down for dinner if it is only covered by dental floss!

No, no…do not think Mature. London Fog is Sophisticated. All sophisticated international people wear proper outerwear when weather conditions are inclement, while J. Crew buying Americans pour beer over their naked, green-painted selves at subzero football games. Over here hooligans at sporting events might trample each other to death but they wear sensible and chic outerwear when doing so.

That is Beatrice in the ad with me. Never believe a word from her. The water was not, as she claimed, a warm 68 degrees, and she did not throw that flotation device to help me, or pay me my 5 pounds in hypothermic dare money. Don’t challenge her to a pub crawl either. She stores alcohol in her giant ears and will stand over you and laugh as you wallow helplessly on the pavement.

I’ve moved on to a new brand, and to be perfectly frank, I have moved on from you. Not because of your consistent lack of reply to my letters, but because, in every way in my new life, I’m in a different place. A jolly good place!

So I bid you, as they say over here, good day.

This is it. You blew it. Goodbye.

No more.

Bye.

– J. Crew Dude

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(1 week later)

Dear Lady (no longer of My Dreams),

I must make one thing clear, just for posterity, and that is the sole reason for this contact. So please, do not read anything into this communication (certainly no subtext regarding my feelings).

I will reveal an important truth to you, but only with assurance I can keep the matter strictly in your confidence. Do you promise? Very well. After I reveal the hellish nightmare I endured at the worst, most brutal, photo shoot ever, which taxed my physical and spiritual limits, you will agree with me that I had no choice but to leave J. Crew!

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We travel now to the marshy hell of the Everglades. Sebastion’s insistence I wear an insulated swamp jacket for three hours to get this shot was my first indication that the top J. Crew brass had changed their feelings about me.

Is that the Volga boatman there, or a simple janitor? No, it’s me!… stirring muck. Gee, I wanna buy that swamp jacket because wearing it I can stick poles in the mud! Unspeakable gases were released from my poling, so sickening and putrid my female compatriot is turning her head. Only my consummate professionalism prevented me from barfing into the gatormobile.

img292_2Yes, live gators inhabit this ecosystem, which made it all the more galling and cruel when I was forced into this vessel, a “canoe.” There’s a reason even Indians phased this one out, a modern development called “stability” which solves the “capsize” and “drowning” problems. So there I was, in a blue chamois and striped waffle t-shirt, up to my elbows in marsh fleas, at the whims of the tide, man-eating reptiles thunking against the gunwales. There’s a reason I’m on my knees: I’m praying to Annie Leibovitz that my inner terror will not interfere with chamois shirt sales.

Don’t even ask me what this shot is selling, besides humiliation and a sympathy for img292political prisoners. It is called the Feet in Bucket While Sitting on a Hard Metal Thingy in Your Undies torture and a special session of the United Nations banned it. Two hours to get this gem? Sebastion, you evil shit, you were unable to crack me. I stuck my damn feet in that bucket and sold those undies because I am a Pro. But J. Crew’s message to me was clear so I quit.

I’m free from my tormentors, and with a more sophisticated brand.

So, with that bit explained…a final goodbye to you.

It is done.

Over.

– J. Crew Dude

__________________

(3 days later)

Dear Lady of My Dreams,

My confusion and sobbing, my lack of enthusiasm for the application of skin care products, the watching of Lifetime movies… it can only mean something powerful and transformative is going on inside me. Personal development! I’ve been doing introspection! Not thinking about how wonderful I am, but about how I might actually be flawed, or may even be — oh God, the pain – a Jackass.

Honesty! This self-actualization process has raised my level of consciousness until I am now capable only of total Honesty. I now know how Lincoln felt! I will admit this to you: J. Crew let me go. They fired me! Newer, younger dudes with no crow’s feet and more energy for youthful romping have taken my place in the catalogs.

Why has the sun forsaken me? People over here live inside a grey cloud and have no tanning beds. London Fog is a damn rain jacket. It’s for old grey dudes who shuffle off to old grey offices. It’s a cavernous rain tarp, meant to cover every ugly inch of the old man inside. I’ve fallen down in this world. The pretty face ain’t pretty enough anymore!

But from pain comes knowledge. Here’s another advanced, mature person concept I have learned about: Humility. I now understand that my great success turned me into a bloated egotistical monster. I have Matured, and finally I have gotten over myself. I have not been eating Shepherd’s Pie in dear old London town, but the bitter sweet taste of Humble Pie. All those unanswered letters!… It was your way of forcing me to find myself, to get real in my life.

I’ve done it! My ego is gone, wiped totally clean. You crafty, lovely temptress! It was your plan all along. So congratulations.

Now I’m ready for you.

I’ve earned your return letter!

And I eagerly await it.

– J. Crew Dude

_______________

 (1 day later)

Dear Lady of My Dreams,

img293I realize I’m going out of turn here, and you’re likely in mid sentence penning your congratulations to me on my personal development, but the fact that both JC Penny and TJ Maxx have made calls to my agent is kind of a huge deal.  So naturally I’m telling you because I’m sure you agree.

The old me would have gloated that I was back on top, and made a lot of noise about being the face of a billion dollar industry, etc., but not this time. I will merely note for the record that I’m likely back in the American casual wear game.

Don’t count out the old Pro just yet. I’ve got snowflake sweaters and tartan flannel boxers and classic chinos still to sell!

But enough about me.

Now it’s your turn!

Go ahead.

– J. Crew Dude

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“The Spectacular Now” and the New Era of Coming-of-Age Movies

This summer has seen the collapse of mega-budget blockbuster special effects movies such as “Pacific Rim,” “The Lone Ranger” and “After Earth.” The computer generated mega-destruction has been exposed to be as boring and predictable as last year’s video game spinoffs. Thankfully, into this vacuum comes a group of intrepid directors and screenwriters who have dared to produce original movies with real characters that real people can relate to.

 

The strength of coming-of age movies, when done well, is that they combine hilarious entertainment with emotionally moving depictions of a time of life when there is a newness to experience which can be quite intense. The reason John Hughes movies such as “Breakfast Club,” “Pretty In Pink,” and “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” and other films such as “Say Anything” and “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” dominate the nightly TV channel guides, is that they are honest stories with live beating hearts, stories about people who are easy to relate to. Everyone has memorably suffered in high school or is doing so right now. The poignancy of first loves, first drinks, and first jobs transcends generations. Coming-of-age movies provide an inspirational life line and have impact, the way a generation of women can recite Molly Ringwald’s famous words from “Pretty in Pink:” “I just want them to know they didn’t break me.”

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The freshly released “The Spectacular Now” is a coming-of-age movie based on a Tim Tharp novel. The adaptation by screenwriters Scott Neustadter and Michael H. Weber sets a firm narrative foundation. Directed by talented director James Ponsoldt, it is a deeply moving story with acting performances that are no less than spectacular. Sutter Keely, played by actor Miles Teller, is a charismatic though underachieving young man who is pushed to face his personal fears. Sutter is Lloyd Dobler for the Millennial Generation, but with an enthusiasm for alcohol rather than kick-boxing. Teller proves to be a suave and sympathetic leading man who is convincing both in the “perfection” of his party down life and his troubled depths. Miles Teller deserves entry into the gallery of great coming-of-age performances alongside John Cusak, Andrew McCarthy and Sean Penn.

 

Shailene Woodley, an actress with a knack for generating interest even when she isn’t speaking, is mesmerizing as Sutter’s girlfriend. Shot entirely in Athens, Georgia on a small budget, “The Spectacular Now” achieves some amazing results. Kyle Chandler (of Friday Night Lights fame) and Jennifer Jason Leigh (“Fast Times”) are memorable as Sutter’s father and mother. The movie slowly sucks you in as things get more adult and serious, then heads into a dramatic conclusion.

 

The Way, Way Back,” also released recently, is the creation of screenwriters/directors Unknown-2Nat Faxon and Jim Rash, who were last seen winning an Oscar for “The Descendants.” The hero of this film is Duncan, a classic suffering 14-year-old played ably by Liam James. His stooped shoulders and pained facial expression exude teen angst. While on summer vacation he is tormented by his mom’s boyfriend, a cruel anti-father figure played by Steve Carell. He finds relief at Water Wizz, a water park run by slick older guys, including Sam Rockwell, who mix ribbing with attempts to help fatherless Duncan learn some skills. The horrors of self-obsessed adults whose parenting skills go no further than their egos are on display here. The dialogue is hilarious and sharp, mixing heartfelt emotion with belly laughs. It will remind you of Bill Murray’s best work with Ivan Reitman, such as “Stripes” and “Meatballs.”

 

Unknown-3The screenwriting team of Neustadter and Weber also wrote “The Kings of Summer,” which was released in May. Directed by Jordan Vogt-Roberts, the movie follows three teenage boys who are bored with video games and frustrated by their overbearing parents. To escape they construct a ramshackle house in the woods and resolve to “be their own men.” Vogt-Powell adds strong and surprising visuals from Ohio suburbs and woodlands. The recent phenomenon of kids who won’t leave home is given a twist. These boys get the courage to leave, and though determined, they find independence more elusive than they imagined. Using lots of light-hearted charm and humor, the movie still raises valuable questions about modern masculinity. Is it possible to be a King anymore?

 

I can personally vouch for “The Spectacular Now,” “The Kings of Summer” and “The Way, Way Back” as great movies and I want to endorse them to my readers and to fans of The Pursuit of Cool. You’ll love them, so go see them in theatres now!

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On Sunsets and the Importance of Hanging Around

I have a thing about dusk, my favorite time of day, and sunsets. I think sunsets are nature’s most exquisite art. They never fail to put me in a relaxed state of awe. They are never the same, even second by second during the same sunset. The clouds, the color, the intensity…they keep shifting.

It’s weird how things happen. Moment by moment, we decide what to do, making our best guesses, using our intuition (or not), or maybe we are just caught up in events. We do the things we do and there is no way to tell what would or would not have happened if we had made different choices. At any given time, it seems so easy to do any number of things as the next thing. But there can be only one thing.  And that is the thing. Forever.

A couple weeks ago I was at the Huntington Beach pier with my wife. It was late, almost 7:00 pm. A rolling cloud layer had been overhead most of the day, and at sunset the sun was peeking around the far edges of this smothering gray mass of clouds.

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The sunset did not seem promising. The clouds were winning. In fact, it looked like a bust. We were both starved, just about to drop, and agreed it was time to go and get food.

And then we didn’t move for ten minutes. Maybe the gyration of ocean waves smacking against the pier’s pillars had lulled us. Maybe we were just lazy.

“Let’s go!” we both said, holding our stomachs. We took ten steps and then found our elbows on the railing again. The sun was about to drop into a window. Over the next fifteen minutes it worked itself into this slot. Bright orange fire poured through, like a flashlight through a window. As it sank lower, the clouds over our heads became under lit and infused with an amazing purple. The pier was a lit studio.

We took another ten steps and stopped. The purple turned into blue, then green, as we half-heartedly reaffirmed we had to do dinner. We lingered around some fisherman holding rods. Finally the sky became brighter, a turn up on the dimmer switch, as everything was painted an otherworldly neon pink. It was one of the most sublime and satisfying sunsets I have seen.

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Androids and iPhones were lifted into the air and aimed with extended arms along the pier. All people who had to stop and look.  Suddenly, the sunset was heavily trending in photos and videos.

We were so stunned we couldn’t talk. Except to say: “I’m so glad we stayed.”

“You have to see this!” a man in an Angels t-shirt was heard to say on his smart phone, and then laughing, “Well, then get here somehow.”

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The Terrible Burden of Having Stuff

Unknown-3Moving is hell, as the saying goes, and my recent move to California, in the tiresome way of all major moves, has been hellish. The main driver of misery is the Stuff to be moved. There is the back breaking, ass-kicking difficulty of dealing with the mother-lode bulk of it: the furniture, the boxes and boxes of items, the kitchenware, the pictures, the bedding. It takes weeks just to assemble it all, then days more to load it all into a 8’ x 16’ PODS container. Staring at that great tangled mass, stacked top to bottom, front to back, was tiring in itself, as though it was a crushing weight upon my soul.

 

The bigger problem is our emotional connection to our Stuff. Much of my suffering came from the idea my wife and I had that moving was an opportunity to assess the entire Stuff Collection, and get rid of lots of it. First, there is the curation of the Stuff. As Stuff which sits around inside your house, functional or not, there for sensible reasons or not, it constitutes a collection.

 

So we dug into the layers of storage and closets and all the spaces of our house where Stuff was hiding. I became unhappily immersed in my earlier selves and circumstances. It was an involuntary therapy session of photos and mementos, like embarrassing prom photos and ancient resumes and lamps that once seemed like a good idea and bizarre post college artwork and sporting equipment purchased at great cost which fizzled quickly into obscurity.

 

When you find an item, then you must decide. Is it on the truck or not? It’s live or die, love it or leave it. I stored it for good reasons years ago (or did I?): do they still hold up?

 

I feel sentimental about most stuff, and the people who gave me the stuff and the fond memories that surround the stuff…Is discarding that stuff then a rejection of those times and people? For example, greeting cards. How long must I store old birthday cards? Discarding them immediately after receiving them seems unappreciative of the positive sentiments the friend or family member was conveying with a carefully written note inside the card. Perhaps the card came from a beloved and now deceased family member, which makes it worse. So they stack up on a shelf. But must I carry them around forever?

 

Then you hit the killer, the tear jerker item, which shuts down the whole process and creates psychological crisis.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA There is absolutely no use for it and it is bulky, but you can’t imagine chucking it. I am talking about what’s at the very back of the closet: my entire cassette collection, the soundtrack of my youth, in all its briefcase mixtape glory. I have not listened to them in 20 years. My cassette player was thrown away years ago, but there is just no way. It’s like the Smithsonian throwing away Lindberg’s plane. No one will ever make another trip in that thing. No one can even touch it. It has zero usability, but it’s History, so it will hang in the exhibit hall forever.

 

I have always pitied electronic devices. There is newness and great excitement when we get them, and they dutifully serve our needs: computers, cassette players, smart phones, boom boxes, cameras. They deliver their thing in their way, but as soon as the smell of tech obsolescence is in the air, we toss them, despite their years of loyal service, to be ground under by heavy machinery at the landfill. Thanks, pal.

 

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERASo it was torturous to consider the fate of my beloved Canon AF35M 35mm auto camera, which still would work beautifully, if I used it, and was carried on numerous vacations and still possesses undeveloped film, possibly containing cherished memories. No one wants to buy a 20 year old camera. Not even on Craig’s List. No one wants this as a gift. It seems unceremonious and wrong to dump it in the trash. It was, and still is, a great camera, which provided pictures during some of the happiest times of my life! And it’s reward for this good service?

 

The camera went to Goodwill, with the sincere hope an appreciative person will find it and dispel my guilt about abandoning it.

 

Most of the cassettes stayed with me, but not all of them. May they live on without me.

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The Complete Discography of THE PURSUIT OF COOL

The I Ching says it best: Music eases tension from the heart, releases thoughts from the mind, and inspires us to greatness. For many people, music is a fundamental way they cope with the world. Lance Rally, the main character of The Pursuit of Cool, is one such person. Like most young people, he is looking for answers and is a sponge of everything he sees and hears in his pursuit of the elusive “cool.”

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Music points us in one direction or another. After listening to the music of an era we are changed, because the lyrics and attitude and energy all convey things that seep into our consciousness. It works both ways. The taste of young people, what speaks to them, influences what music becomes popular and makes that music also a statement about them. MTV, college radio, alternative music and Top 40 all combined to make music from the 1980s into an unforgettable mix.  Unknown-4

The songs in the Discography follow the flow of the novel with Prince’s “Take Me With U” from page 4, to The Replacements “Sixteen Blue” from page 334.  Many of the songs are mentioned specifically, such as  “Just What I Needed” and “I Wanna Be Sedated” and “O Superman.” Other songs are from bands mentioned, like Joy Division, but with no song specifically in the narrative, so I had to chose between several songs (“Leaders of Men” or “Love Will Tear Us Apart”?). In these situations I have chosen an appropriate song, or songs, from that era, channeling the novel and its characters, and perhaps throwing in my own personal musical taste as well.

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In the novel, music serves many dramatic purposes. Lance Rally is introduced to the world of punk/alternative music by his punk rock actor friend Ian LaCoss and it seals their friendship. Lance‘s dance floor dance palace moves are tested to the sounds of Wang Chung. He explores the bounds of free will by going on a road trip to Athens to hear R.E.M. A Bauhaus mix tape delivered by Walkman serves to channel Lance’s feeling of betrayal and confusion in his relationship with Lynn Van Oster. The Langford Amazons, a secret clique of college women, cover Lance’s college campus with leaflets defending Sinead O’Connor’s hairstyle. The Replacement’s album Let It Be serves as a salve to Lance and LaCoss’s heavy hearts (and will forever remind me of my failed 2011 Twitter campaign to get Paul Westerberg to approve a copyright license of lyrics for “Sixteen Blue.” Where were you Paul?)Unknown-3

The list of 40 songs can be listened to on Spotify. The first 30 are on The Complete Discography of The Pursuit of Cool PART 1  and the last 10 are on The Complete Discography of The Pursuit of Cool PART 2.     Happy Listening!

“Take Me With U” – Prince

“She Blinded Me With Science” — Thomas Dolby

“Europa and the Pirate Twins” – Thomas Dolby

“Drop Dead Legs” — Van Halen

“Really Saying Something” — Bananarama & Fun Boy 3

“Just What I Needed” – The Cars

“Rise” – Public Image Limited

“I Wanna Be Sedated” – Ramones

“Sheena is a Punk Rocker” — Ramones

“Love Will Tear Us Apart”– Joy Division

“She’s Lost Control” – Joy Division

“God Save The Queen” — Sex Pistols

“Car Jamming” — The Clash

“Tainted Love/ Where Did Our Love Go” –Soft Cell

“Freedom of Choice” – Devo

“You Gotta Another Thing Coming” – Judas Priest

“Everybody Have Fun Tonight” — Wang Chung

“7 Chinese Brothers” – REM

“Superman” — REM

“How Soon Is Now?” — The Smiths

“Bad” — U2

“Pride (In the Name of Love)” — U2

“Heart of Glass” — Blondie

“Lips Like Sugar” — Echo & The Bunnymen

“O Superman” — Laurie Anderson

“Never Let Me Down” — Depeche Mode

“Jane Says” — Janes Addiction

“Bela Lugosi’s Dead”– Bauhaus

“Let’s Go”– The Cars

“Lorelei” – Cocteau Twins

“So Alive” — Love & Rockets

“Ceremony” — New Order

“Temptation” – New Order

“(Keep Feeling) Fascination” – Human League

“The Caterpillar” — The Cure

“Gigantic” – Pixies

“I Want Your Hands on Me” — Sinead O’Connor

“Just Call Me Joe” – Sinead O’Connor

“Sixteen Blue” – The Replacements

“I Will Dare” — The Replacements

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